In my last update, I was all pumped up over a 20 pound weight loss since surgery in March. Most recently, I feel like this lady, only about weight loss and not my job which I happen to love:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W3hzJNSkqs

For months, I've been teetering between 230-234 pounds, up and down one day to the next. The lowest I've been is 230, and I think today I was 233.5. Granted, I'm coming off a week long vacation during which I didn't make the best food choices. When eating poorly, I've choosen, for example, a kids meal instead of an adult sized meal, but the food was still unhealthy. I'd justify it by thinking a child sized McDonald's burger and small fry is a fraction of the calories of what "the old me" would have consumed at one meal. But, in reality, I don't need to be eating 500 calories and 20+ fat grams from a kids meal, even if 4 months ago I would have eaten over 1200 calories and 70 fat grams at one meal!

I mentioned to my best friend in an email that this is a day to day battle. On some days, I fight the food demons and have trouble with portion control. I'm not eating what a normal person would think is alot, b/c the lapband really does make me feel full pretty fast, but preparing a plate or ordering a meal according to the size that I should be consuming has been difficult. And, I usually eat whatever I put on my plate, and I need to have more self control over that. As I read her response, I was disgusted with myself b/c I looked down and what was in my hand but a cheese stick. I mean, really, I don't need to be eating freaking cheese sticks. My own actions are preventing me from losing this weight more quickly. I wish I could fix whatever it is within myself that results in bad choices.

Starting Weight: 252 lbs
Today's Weight: 233.5 lbs
Surgery Date: March 17